I don�t know how much I�m going to get written before I crash seeing as it is five in the morning and I have yet to be to bed. I just got home from Stan�s house. I�m sure I�ll go into specifics later today, but we had a long talk.

I told him I loved him for the first time today. But I was quick to clarify that I didn�t know if I was in love with him.

The past few days I have been on him constantly and that is just so un-me. He commented on it tonight and I said I didn�t know what it was. He said he thinks that I�m falling in love with him. I�m beginning to wonder if he�s right. I�m so confused and scared and yet I can�t wipe the goofy grin off of my face.

What am I supposed to do? Of course I have to go the next two days with out seeing him because Mom is pitching an absolute fit about the damn car and I just don�t want to hear it. So Wednesday is the only day I�m going to be able to get down there. And the other part of my new feelings is that I want to be with him all the time. I miss him after I�ve only been gone for five minutes. I just wish I knew what was going on!

Sarah is supposed to still be having her party and Stan says that he�s going to go no matter what his mom says. I hope he�s telling the truth because then I�ll have him all day and all night.

What is the matter with me?? Is this love? If so, when does the bad part come in? I know it�s lurking around somewhere. You can�t have love without pain and suffering--lots of it--you just can�t. I know it. I�ll have to keep an eye out for it.

I have a ton more to write about, but my eyes are shutting as I write this. I will write more later. Specifics, details and other sordid tales of yesterday.

Held Back--Let Go

Clix me!

days until Stan goes to basic