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I have a very strong feeling that Stan isn�t going to make it to Sarah�s party and it is worrying me. If he lets his mother tell him to stay home that�s it. I�ll still see him, but I�ll know not to get to serious. I can still pull back, I�m not that far gone yet. I don�t want to get serious about someone who lets someone else rule his live. I would just go back to seeing him. There�s still enough time to do that.
I don�t know why, but I really do feel like he�s not going to go. I�m going to call there in the morning and he�s going to say he can�t go cause of his mom. Or maybe his mother would be just bitch enough to stick him with his little brother Chad.
I guess I�m feeling insecure just cause I haven�t seen him in two whole days. That may not seem a lot, but I had seen him everyday this week. And believe me, a lot can happen in two days. Especially when you�ve just told a man you�re in love with him for the first time. That�s probably it. It goes back to my old fear of telling my feelings and then having the guy shut down completely.
God, I�m insecure tonight. I just have a feeling he�s going to bail. I�ll be so disappointed. But it�ll give me fair warning. To once again quote the lovely and talented Reba McIntire, I will be able to pull my heart out from under the knife without too much permanent damage being done.
I hope that I�m wrong but I�m pretty sure that I�m not.
I even bought the little momma�s boy some cologne. It�s the imitation Polo stuff. I wanted him to wear it so he could drive me nuts tomorrow. He better be there!
I guess all I�m going to do tonight is rant and rave about Stan not showing up tomorrow, so I�m going to call it a night.
at my house right now!