And I totally agree that both Stan and I need to grow up. He's 18 and I'm 21, we should be able to have an adult relationship.

My problem is that I've never had *any* sort of relationship before. I don't know how to do it.

Sometimes all I want to do is be near him and the next second I'm freaking out and shoving him away. I know it's gotta be driving him crazy.

Of course there is the issue that maybe I really do want to drive him away, so I pitch fits and latch onto the tiniest little thing and blow it all out of proportion. I know that has a lot to do with it. That and I have no idea what the fuck I am doing in this relationship.

Does being in love take practice?

I think I just need to tone down my emotional level and work on the rational side of my brain...if I still have one. Heh.

It's not going to happen, but I should try.

I guess I can't figure everything out at once. I'm guessing that love is a learning process

Held Back--Let Go

Clix me!

days until Stan goes to basic